She Rose.
A guest post by Caitlin and Tara, from Sherose.movement.
She rose. It came to me one day.
Our back and forth, rapid-fire texts, littered with the occasional f-bomb and inappropriate humor, had engendered an idea worth exploring. She and I had become sick of the cycle of focusing on our flaws.
Let’s back up the train for a second. Now that my best friend and I are deep into walking the walk and talking the talk about loving our whole selves, shadow and all, Tara and I don’t really care for the word flaws. What is it with that word? Tell people not to focus on their flaws, and guess what they focus on? Their flaws. And guess how they still perceive parts of themselves that just need a little more love? Flaws, wrong, damaged. Unworthy.
Flaws. Let’s unlearn that word, ok?
My artist-self makes sense of my experience of being in the world, and squints a little, trying to get the whole picture. When I am in the flow of a painting or sketch, or when Tara is totally in the zone with creating the next piece of (gorgeous, honestly) jewelry, we aren’t focusing on the “flaws.” We see the bigger picture. The whole. The poetic interplay of the parts of the piece that we love and celebrate, as well as the parts that may just need – you guessed it – more love.
Do you dare to look at yourself as a piece of art, in this way? As a process, and not a product? That the parts we have learned to despise or loathe, somewhere along the way, are just as worthy of our love as the parts that are easy for us to love?
We do. Haven’t always, but we do. It’s a choice to actively love your whole self, as is.
My mind transports me to an early memory of feeling ashamed for the space I took up: “Caitlin has big thighs,” I overheard. I’d never even considered the size of my thighs before. Admittedly, it became a struggle for my adolescent self to let that go. An opinion of a peer informed how I’d talk to myself in relation to my thighs, for years! My insecurity bred more insecurity. My inner critic feasted on it.
Know what I’d like to tell my 12-year-old self now? That those thighs would get you to the top of a mountain, literally, as you root for your toddler walking alongside you to plod on, all while wearing your other tiny human strapped closely on your chest. That you’d labor on your hands and knees, twice, waiting to embrace those little people, and that the days after giving birth, your quads burned with beautiful purpose. That those thighs would carry you. Perhaps up a flight of stairs to your own office, to work in a business you started from the ground up.
She rose.
She rose above limiting thoughts and belief systems. She chose to.
Oh, and I’d say, f*ck that sh*t. I’m not minimizing that at the time, it was painful for me to hear a negative comment about my body. But, I’ve realized that how I choose to hold myself, my purpose, and my love (for myself and others) is of utmost value. It is power.
Back to now. We decided that as soul sisters, we would illuminate this process for our community, and for our tribe, which we hope grows, much like a rose among the wild.
Self-care and self-love are besties. The need each other. They are constantly in communication. Are you listening? Pay attention to what feeds your soul, and what seeds you need to sow to bring that to fruition. Choose to make the time, even if your first thought is, “I don’t have time for self-care.” I used that one a lot as a mompreneur. Insert law of attraction (I smell another blog post) here: close your eyes and envision what “me time” looks like. Trust, listen, and lean in. Make the time. When you actively choose to recharge and fill yourself up, you are sending the message to yourself and to the universe that you are worthy. Sometimes for me, self-care is that bubble bath I’ve been waiting to take. Or sitting down with a blank canvas and just creating. Or pulling cards. Noticing breath. Sometimes it’s just feeling the earth under my feet. Sometimes it’s picking a mantra for the day and meditating with some mala beads. I give myself a chance to turn the love and compassion that flows so easily from me to others, inward. And that, my friends, is not selfish. It is vital.
Now go fill yourselves up. We’ve all got some rising to do.
Namaste,
Caitlin
The brains behind She Rose Movement (@sherose.movement), Tara and Caitlin are best friends of 13 years. Together, they can talk anything spiritual, jewel the night away, and give mostly anyone a good laugh. Tara is a mom to a 3-year-old daughter and juggles it all: school, work as a detox tech, and motherhood. Caitlin is a wife, mom to two sons, 2 and 5, and maintains a private art therapy and counseling practice.