Free Falling
by Renee Bauer
“Holy sh*t!” I thought to myself the other day when someone asked me how long I have been in business.
“In September, it will be 10 years,” I replied as I pulled back my shoulders and lifted my chin. What a trip it has been.
When I turned 20 years old, I flung my jumpsuit clad body out of a plane at 10,500 feet. The drop was exhilarating and then strangely serene once the parachute was pulled. My landing was clumsy, but I landed on my feet intensely proud of my flight.
When I turned 30 years old, I decided to take another plunge. This time I didn’t need a plane or a parachute but the leap was just as terrifying. I opened my own business. The panic was not much different than that moment when the hatch opened. As I desperately gripped the side of the plane peering into the vast blue, I questioned my judgment to engage in such a hapless activity. All sense of security and stability dissipated as I released my white knuckled grip bracing myself for the jarring ride that was sure to follow. For the first few months, I worked on a folding table and my filing cabinets were filled with nothing more than office supplies.
It wasn’t always an easy ride. Some things stick with you, sometimes the negative. Like the male colleague that was talking about me one day and said, “You don’t marry a girl like that. She has her own agenda.” His words stuck to my ribs but why? Wasn’t I just trying to do the same thing he had done in his career? Why was he a success and I was worthy of a scarlet letter?
I’ve watched other professionals in my field open and close their doors. The questions inside my head were sometimes relentless. What happens if it doesn’t work? When will it be my turn to close? When will they stop coming? Yet, I’ve upgraded my desk and now the basement in my office is filled with filing cabinets that are bursting with files and not just empty notepads and extra pens.
Another ten years has gone by and as I turn 40 years old, I reflect on this wild journey. I continuously evaluate how the business can be the best version of itself as it continues to grow and change. Isn’t that what life is all about after all? Who really wants to stay stagnant? Challenge and satisfaction comes from opening that plane hatch and leaping.
At times, my landings are still clumsy but the ride has been incredible all the same….and damn straight, I have an agenda.
In no particular order, Renee C. Bauer is a business owner, mother, stepmother, lawyer, wife, writer, dead lifter, coffee drinker, award winner, and cheerleader of other women out there with their own agendas.